Reflections on Israel

Every night for almost a week and a half after I returned home from Israel I had dreams about the trip and about all my friends in Diller. This alone shows what an impact the trip had on me. The first few days after I got back I could not stop thinking about all my Israeli and American Diller friends, our inside jokes, and all the memories we shared together.

I thought as time went on and I got back to life in America I would think about the trip less and less. But I didn’t. Everything I do reminds me of something I learned or some place we visited on the trip. Whenever I hear Party Rock Anthem I immediately think back on our stunning performance at Kennes. I constantly hold back from yelling “YA YOU ARE!” in everyday conversation with my family and friends. And I always think something is missing when I get in bed each night. Then I remember I did not have a magal lilah (night circle).

All the conversations and feedback had such an impact on me. It has truly changed me as a person. The experience taught me so much about who I am as a person and who I have the potential to be. From the visit to an orthodox synagogue in Jerusalem to the discussion of the relevance of the Covenant in our lives today at congress, I questioned my Jewish identity in ways that changed and strengthened my beliefs and practices.

I feel this way because our cohort became like a family. I felt so comfortable and supported by every fellow and staff member. Although I experienced this continually during the trip, I felt it most strongly during feedback sessions for the leaders of the day. All of the specific comments and suggestions showed me how much everyone in our cohort truly cares about the development of others as people and leaders. Our friendships are unique because we connect on many different levels. We know how to have fun and laugh. Just look at our endless games of bunny bunny. But we also know how to be serious and thoughtful, anyone who sat in on one of our night circles would be able to see this. This for me is what makes the Diller experience unique.

Thousands of teenagers participate in Jewish programs and trips to Israel every year. But not everyone gets to lead and participate in intense discussions about the American belief of capitalism verses the Kibbutz belief of socialism, or to explore the role the army plays in the lives of Israelis and Americans. Not everyone gets to hear first-hand accounts of what it’s like to lose a sibling or child in the army. Not everyone gets the experience of spending a week being hosted by an Israeli teenager, including having Shabbat dinner with all 25 of her relatives. Not everyone gets to spend their summer with 39 amazing teenagers and form friendships that last a lifetime.

But I was lucky enough to have this experience. For this I am forever thankful.

Ilana Crankshaw